Mom knew the cat was hungry before anyone heard a meow. She filled the bowl on the way to the coffee maker, changed the litter on Saturdays, and remembered when the cat was due at the vet. Nobody wrote any of it down because nobody needed to. Now the cat is still there, the bowl is still there, and the job has no owner.

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You are reading this at the kitchen table because something caught your eye. Maybe the food bag is lower than it should be, or the water dish has a dry ring around the edge. Maybe the litter box has gone a week without a scoop. None of these is an emergency on its own. Together they tell you the care that used to happen without thinking has slipped, and it will keep slipping until someone takes it on by name.

How to tell it has slipped

Walk the pet's spots in the house the way you would walk the kitchen. Look at the food bowl, the water bowl, the litter box, the leash or carrier by the door, and the folder where the vet papers live. For each one, ask a plain question. Is the food bag nearly empty? Is the water bowl dry, or full of crumbs and hair? Is the litter used but not cleaned? Is the last vet visit written on paper, or only in Mom's head? If two or more answers are bad, the care has slipped.

Watch the animal too. Is the pet hiding more than usual, eating less, drinking more, or sleeping in places it never used before? Those changes belong with the vet, and they are worth reporting even when you are not sure what they mean. You do not need to be certain before you make the call.

What to do tonight

Fill the water bowl with fresh water and wash the food bowl. Check how many days are left in the food bag, and write that number down. Put the bag, the litter and the scoop where the next person will find them without searching. Write the feeding times on a card and tape it inside a cupboard door or beside the coffee maker. Keep it short, something like breakfast at seven, supper at five, water topped up both times, so anyone who helps can follow it without calling you.

Then ask your father, plainly, who he wants on this job. Some men will say he will do it himself. Take him at his word and give him a small, real piece, such as the morning bowl or the Saturday litter change. Do not take the whole animal off him in one go, because a chore he still owns is a chore he keeps doing. If he says he cannot manage it, that is the answer you needed. Name the person who will cover it, whether that is you, a neighbor or a sitter.

Find the spare key and write down who holds it. A pet with no one able to get inside is the first thing that goes wrong when the family is away for a night.

What to check before you hire a sitter

If the pet needs more than you or your father can cover, a neighbor or pet sitter may be the right fit. Ask each one the same few questions before you hand over a key. Do they know the feeding times and the amounts, written down? Will they come on the days you have listed, and what happens if they cannot? Who do they call if the pet will not eat or seems unwell? Do they have the vet's name and phone number on a sheet they keep? What happens to a visit that gets cancelled at short notice? Get the answers in writing, even if it is a note on the back of an envelope, and keep one copy on the fridge.

When to ask the vet

Call the vet if the pet stops eating for more than a day, starts vomiting, has trouble using the litter box, or suddenly drinks or urinates far more than before. Ask the vet's office for the reminder dates for shots and check-ups, and write them on the same card as the feeding times. Ask them to keep the record of the last visit on file, so you are not depending on memory.

Ask his own doctor about one thing only if you see your father struggling himself. If he cannot bend to fill the bowl, lift a litter bag, or get down to the floor and back up, that is worth raising with his doctor, along with the other things you have noticed.

If the pet is not the only thing slipping, Start Here: The First Hundred Days lays out the first steps in order, and you can take the household items one at a time.

Good-week card: The feeding times are on the card in the kitchen, and the water bowl gets checked at the same moment the coffee goes on.