Someone at the door with a bucket and a name you don't know yet. That is what this is, and it's a bigger step than it sounds, because a house cleaner will be in Mom's kitchen, opening the cabinets she used to open.
Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.
Dad may say he doesn't need anyone. Let him say it. Then ask him which room he's tired of looking at. Men his age often agree to a cleaner when it's framed as a favor to the house, not to them. You know your father, so use whatever gets him to yes.
Check who holds the keys
Before you agree to anything, find out who will have a key, whether the copy can be taken back, and whether the agency keeps a spare in its office. Ask whether the cleaner locks up when they leave, and what happens if Dad is home when they arrive. Write the answers down. If the agency can't answer in one or two sentences, you have your answer.
Check what gets moved
Most cleaners tidy, and tidying is where things go missing. Mom's stacks of mail, the good dish towels, the spot on the counter where Dad keeps his glasses, all of it can land somewhere new by Thursday. Ask the agency to leave papers, mail, and anything on the counters where it is unless Dad says otherwise. Pill bottles stay where they are. Medicine stays with the family, the doctor, and the pharmacist, so tell the cleaner that plainly and ask the agency to write it into the notes.
Check what is in the scope
Ask for the list in writing: which rooms, which tasks, and how often. Is the refrigerator included? The oven? The bathroom? Does the cleaner bring their own supplies, or does Dad need to have them on hand? Ask about any product Dad dislikes the smell of, because he will notice before you do. A line like general cleaning will be read differently by each person who shows up, so get the specifics on paper.
Check the stop rule
Find out how the arrangement ends. How much notice is required? What happens to any time already paid for? Can Dad ask for a different cleaner if the first one doesn't suit him? Ask how a missed visit gets reported and to whom. If you are the one who will hear about it, the agency should know that from the start.
Check the people
Ask whether the agency screens its staff and carries insurance, and whether the same person comes each time or whether visits rotate. You don't need every detail. You need to hear the agency answer without hesitation, and you need to know who to call when a visit goes wrong.
If you want the wider picture before you decide, Start Here: The First Hundred Days walks through the early weeks in the same order most families end up facing them.
What to do tonight
Pick one room and walk through it with your phone in hand. Note what sits on the counters, what is in the drawers, and what Dad would be upset to find moved. Then write one sentence about what the cleaner must not touch, and tape it to the refrigerator where he will see it. That sentence will do more than any contract clause on the first morning.
When to ask the doctor
If Dad is refusing to let anyone into the house, or the house is getting dirty in ways that suggest the day has become too much for him to manage, call his doctor's office and describe what you are seeing, plainly and without guessing at causes. Ask whether the doctor wants to see him for a check-in. A cleaner can take the work off the house, but a cleaner can't tell you what is going on with him.
Good-week card
A good week is one where the house smells like soap and Dad still knows which drawer his socks are in.