Mom's fridge was never a mystery. She knew what was in it, what was going to be cooked on Wednesday, and what had to be eaten before it turned. The fridge kept a record of her week. It is still keeping one, and now it tells you about his.

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What the fridge tells you

Open it and look at the back of the bottom shelf and the vegetable drawers, not the front where he reaches first. Look for a carton of milk past its date, a loaf of bread with green starting in it, lettuce gone to water, a container of leftovers from a meal he clearly didn't finish, and the same block of cheese with one wedge cut off and never moved. Look at the counter and the trash for takeout containers and bags, which tells you where his dinners are coming from.

Then look at what is missing. Mom bought things that got eaten: fruit, eggs, vegetables that needed cooking, bread that got used up. If only the same few things keep coming home, he may be buying what he can grab without thinking, not what he would cook.

What to do tonight

Clear the obvious. Throw out what is clearly spoiled, and when you aren't sure, throw it out. Don't empty the whole fridge in one sweep, because he may feel that her cooking is being carried out in bags. Leave the jam, the pickles, and the jar of something she made, and move on. Then write a short list of six or seven things he actually eats in an ordinary week, and tape it inside the cabinet door where he will see it.

What to do over the next few days

Buy two or three things that keep: eggs, a bag of frozen vegetables, bread that lasts, a block of cheese. Put any leftovers in clear containers at the front of the shelf, with the day they were made written on tape. Ask him once what he'd like to eat, and take the answer as the answer, even if it's cereal for dinner.

When to ask the doctor

Ask his doctor about his eating if the fridge shows very little being eaten over several days, if his clothes suddenly fit loose, if he seems to forget he has already eaten, or if he has lost interest in food he used to enjoy. You are not diagnosing him. You are giving the doctor what you saw. Bring the list of what was in the fridge and say what it looked like when you opened it.