You already know where the laundry is. It is in the hamper in the hall, maybe in the basket on the bedroom floor, and possibly in the dryer, which he has been meaning to empty for a while. Mom did this every week without anyone noticing it was a job. Now it has become a pile, and you are looking at a laundry service on your phone at two in the morning. That is a sensible thing to be doing. Before you pick one, slow down long enough to compare the things that will decide whether it works for him.

Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.

Start with what has to be washed

Walk through the house once with a laundry bag. Count the bedding, the towels, the clothes he wears most, and anything that needs care, like wool, a good shirt, or a cardigan that should never see a dryer. Write the list on the back of an envelope. Then you can ask every service the same questions and compare the answers side by side, instead of being charmed by whoever sounds the friendliest on the phone.

Questions to ask every service

Ask who comes to the door and whether Dad has to be home. If he has to be there, find out what the window is and whether they will call before they arrive. Ask whether they wash by the load or by the item, and whether they separate colors and whites. Ask how they handle delicates and wool, and whether they will tell you in writing which items they will not wash. Ask how bedding is handled, and how often they will take sheets and towels. Ask how the clean clothes come back: folded in a bag, on hangers, or in a basket on the porch. Ask what the bill is based on, so you know whether a heavy comforter costs more than a week of shirts. Ask who makes the call to change a pickup day, and whether that person is you or him. Ask what happens if something shrinks, tears, or goes missing, and whether the answer is written in the agreement. A service that can answer all of these plainly is worth a second look. A service that gets vague at the third question is worth crossing off.

Compare it with the machine he already owns

Before you commit to a service, check the washer and dryer you already have. Run one small load. Make sure the hose is not kinked, the dryer vent is clear, and the lint trap is not packed. Ask yourself honestly whether he will actually use the machine if it is working. Some men will keep a machine going for years. Others will let the basket fill up because carrying it down the stairs feels like too much. If he will not use the machine, a service makes sense. If he will use it but cannot lift the basket, you might look at a smaller load or a neighbor who can help on Sunday. Compare those routes against the service, not against your own weekend.

What to do tonight

Strip the bed and put the sheets in one bag by the door. Find the shirt he wears most and put it on top of the basket, so it is the first thing you see. Then ask him one plain question: would he rather someone pick this up, or would he rather you come over on a day you choose? He will probably say he can do it himself. Let him have that. Offer to take one load home with you this week, and let him keep the rest on the schedule he picks. Men who have run a house for decades often need to feel they still have a say in it, and that matters more than which company wins.

When to ask the doctor

Most laundry questions are household questions, and you can sort them out at the kitchen table. Bring it up with his doctor if you notice he is wearing the same clothes for many days, if his skin is irritated or sore, or if he seems unsure whether something is clean or dirty. Those are worth mentioning at his next visit, because they can point to things that have nothing to do with the washer.

Good week card: The sheets went out and came back, and he slept on the clean ones without saying a word about it.