Someone has suggested a grief group, or you found one on a list, and now you are the one who has to make the phone call. You are not choosing a cure. You are choosing a room of people your father may or may not want to sit in, so the questions you ask on the phone matter more than the brochure.
Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.
Open or closed
Ask whether the group is open, meaning people can join any week, or closed, meaning it starts with a set group of people and runs for a fixed number of weeks. An open group is easier to try once without a commitment. A closed group can feel more personal, but it is harder to leave partway through without it feeling like letting others down. Choose the one that matches how he makes decisions.
Who is in the room
Ask whether the group is for widowed people specifically, for any kind of grief, or for men only. Some men find it easier to talk in a room where they are not the only one who cooks or the only one who went home to an empty chair, and some do not. Ask how many people usually come and what the age range looks like, so he is not surprised on the first night.
Who leads it
Ask who runs the group. Is it a trained facilitator, a volunteer who has been through training, or a member who organizes the room? Ask what happens when a session gets tense, and whether the leader checks in with someone who has been quiet for several weeks. You are not collecting credentials for their own sake. You are looking for someone who has thought about what happens when a newcomer says nothing at all.
The practical details
Ask where it meets and how long it runs. Check the parking, the steps, and whether he will need a driver or a ride. Ask what time it starts and whether it is always the same night each week, because a group that moves around is harder for a man who likes a fixed routine to keep up with. If there is a fee, ask what it covers and whether you can get the total before the first session. Ask how they handle someone who misses a week, and whether they call.
What to watch on the first visit
Go with him if he will let you, or sit in the car if that is what he needs. Notice whether he is allowed to listen without talking, whether anyone pushes him to share, and whether anyone asks about his wife in a way that makes him feel he has to perform. Afterward, ask him one plain question: did you feel you could walk out if you wanted to? If the answer is yes, that is a good sign, even when the first night felt awkward. If the answer is no, try another group before you decide the idea is wrong.
If you are near St. Louis, the Local Help for a Widowed Father in St. Louis page on this site is a reasonable place to start your list. If grief has him not eating, not sleeping, or pulling away from everything for a long stretch, take that to his doctor, not to the group leader. A group can give him company, but it does not replace a medical check.