You walk in at ten in the morning and he is still in the recliner, a blanket over his knees, the television talking to nobody. He looks up and says he was only resting his eyes. He probably was. Nothing in the room tells him what time it is, and nothing is waiting for him, so the day runs into the night and back out again without any edges.
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This is for the daughter who has noticed that Dad's days have lost their shape. The problem you are solving is not that he has stopped caring or that he is being lazy. Mom set the hours in that house. She put the coffee on, called him to the table, and reminded him about the Sunday drive and the dentist. When she died, those hours did not go to anyone else, and a man who spent a long marriage inside a routine built around her may not know how to build one by himself.
How to tell the shape is gone
You do not need a checklist for this, but a week or two of watching will show you more than one bad afternoon. He dozes through most of the morning and wakes at odd hours, sometimes sitting up at two in the afternoon wondering where the day went. He is in yesterday's shirt because nothing gave him a reason to change it. Meals happen whenever he remembers them, and the same plate sits on the counter until you clear it. The television runs from breakfast to the late news with nobody watching, and when you ask what he did today, the answer is a shrug or a long pause.
Notice too what he has stopped doing without anyone deciding he should. The newspaper goes unopened, the walk to the mailbox stops, and calls from old friends go to the machine. These are the signs that the days have lost their edges, and they are much easier to work with early than late.
What to do tonight
Do not try to fix the whole week tonight. Pick one anchor that already exists in his life and give it a fixed time. It might be the morning coffee at the kitchen table, a radio program he used to listen to with Mom, or a phone call from you every evening at seven. Ask him to help with it rather than announcing it. Try a question such as: will you have coffee with me at eight tomorrow, I want the company. He may say no, and that is useful information too.
If you can, turn off the television for an hour or move the chair so the window is in view. Late-morning light does more for a sleepy man than a lecture does. Leave a clean shirt where he can reach it, and ask him to put one piece on before you come by, without making it a test.
Build the anchors slowly
One anchor that holds is worth more than four that do not. Once the morning coffee is steady, add a second, such as a short walk to the end of the drive for the mail, or a standing Saturday call with a cousin. Let him choose which ones stay. Dads resist a plan they did not write, and the plan they helped shape often survives the first bad week.
Expect some days to slip back. Losing the shape again after a good stretch is not failure. It is the ordinary way grief moves, and the anchor you set on a good day is still there for the next one. The early weeks after a death are covered in more detail in Start Here: The First Hundred Days, which is worth reading alongside this.
When to ask the doctor
Call his doctor if sleeping has taken most of his day for more than a few days in a row, if he seems unsure what day it is or where he is, if he is drinking much less than usual, if he has a fall or seems unsteady on his feet, or if he talks about not wanting to go on. Those signs may point to more than a lost routine, and the doctor is the right person to sort out which it is. Describe what you have seen in plain words, with days and times if you can, because that is the most useful thing you can bring to the appointment. If he says something that frightens you about harming himself, do not wait for an appointment. Call the emergency number in your area or a crisis line straight away.